Yesterday I attended the Spirit of Diversity training at Sodexo's headquarters in Gaithersburg, MD. I live in Annapolis, MD and the commute to Gaithersburg is about 90 minutes. The training course was a full day with a 45 minute break for lunch. After lunch and before class resumed I texted my husband to make sure he was still on schedule to pick up the kids from the baby sitters house after school. He responded, "yes." That's it. No details, no "hope ur havN a G'day." Just "yes." This text interchange sparked a conversation with 2 classmates at my table. The female classmate was "on my side." She understood that as a mom I needed to know he was on schedule so that I wouldn't worry about my children. The male classmate laughed and (basically) said, of course he's taking care of business. He also tried to convince us that men are perfectly capable of "being mom" for a day or as often as needed. Maybe the dads don't do things just like mom, but they get the job done just as well. My fellow female classmate and I were not convinced. And just last week I was talking with another co-worker at Sodexo's Management Conference in Nashville about this same issue. She was telling me how she will leave a list of notes to help her husband take care of things while she is out of town. I do the same thing. She will even leave each day's outfit in piles and labeled by the day to help her husband. I've done that too.
I didn't get home until nearly 7 PM with DC traffic making my 90 minute commute more like 2 hours. When I got home the kids were fed, homework was done, the kitchen was clean, and they were all at soccer practice. In other words the house was clean and (nice and) quiet. Is there anything better than that after sitting in traffic for 2 hours?
OK... so maybe my male classmate was right. If I didn't work out of my home office I guess I would have to have more faith in my husband's domestic ability and let go some of the control. Before working for Sodexo I did work in an office but the office was 5 minutes away from home and my children were younger and didn't have homework or after school activities. I couldn't help wonder how single mothers or fathers for that matter who also work outside the home "do it all." Single mom's or dad's deserve extra candy on this Halloween for their survival technique!
What about you - are you a single parent? And if you are how do you do it all?
Lunch by the way was not only great with plenty of healthy food to select from at the Sodexo run Cafe Rio it was fun too because I ran into two fellow Talent Acquisition team members and Sodexo's Senior Vice President Chief Human Resources Officer in the salad bar line. Because I work from home I don't get to see the people I work with very often so it was genuinely a treat. More on the Spirit of Diversity training next week...
Happy Halloween!
2 comments:
I am not sure comparing mom and dad is appropriate. Parents are different and contribute differently to the lives of their children. For the first 5 years of my daughter's life, it was just the 2 of us because her mom was in the military traveling the world as uncle sam commanded. I had to learn how to do hair, change diapers, potty train, etc. I imagine that it may not have been so different being a dad, than for a mom to have to learn and get comfortable with mixing love with the process. Today, my daughter is in her first year of college and has a strong foundation for success.
Kerry,
I think the dad can take care of things but the reminders help. It would be interesting to see if things would have been the same when you got home if you had not sent the text reminder. My hubby has gotten used to reminders. If I don't remind him, more often than not he will forget especially if it is not somethign they are usually responsible for. It's a great feeling though when they take the pressure off even for 1 day.
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